What am I, ten?? I stand in the isle at the local super store and feel like I’ve failed. I haven’t managed to give my kids the world in back-to-school obsessive overload. Everywhere you turn, there’s a new this or that which is far better than the one you had ( or upon seeing new item) no longer want. I feel like I should be giving in to the massive wants and desires to redo every nook and crany… and non of it will make them do their homework faster or better. Not after week one and the newness wears off the “cool” idea that would make it all work so much better.
I look at the back to school isles crowded with carts loaded to the top, and frantic parents and over tired kids. I am shocked to see myself reflected back in their mirroring images. When did I buy into all that? I just want nice things for my kids, but excess, no matter how well intended, is not only NOT helpful, it’s a drag.
I often feel like I’m not “enough” because I no longer can work at a job when the kids go off to school. Not the way I used to. I still freelance, but my workspace is my desk in the living room. No one makes me show up on the bad days either. I’m the boss of all that. And it’s odd to say the least.
I realize I have the adult form of peer pressure. Mom-Parental peer pressure. Sometimes it’s hard to just accept that I am who i am and it’s okay to just be who that is. I push myself to be what everyone else is being, doing, or giving. But one look at my kids proves that whatever it is I’m doing – I’m honestly getting something right.
So for me – I work at home, when the kids are in school. I am only available to clients or for work when the kids are gone. If they’re home, I’m off that clock and on the Mom clock. I don’t dress up in fancy clothes, or drive cool cars. I wear comfy jeans, some so long loved they have rips in the knee and wear like a second set of jammies they’re so soft with a pair of grey laceless Converse equally worn. I drive a practical mom van to fit my brood and I actually secretly LOVE it. It’s comfortable, holds stuff in cool compartments to keep clutter at bay, and is my perfect shade of red. Best of both worlds.
I am more okay with doing this when I stay safely away from the masses and from the magazines and the media. Too much is totted today as the “only way” to be a REAL woman who’s making a difference in her world. But today? Today I declare it to be wrong. I believe there are many ways to be a good woman, wife, mother, and to do it with strength, character, and honor.
So while I challenge myself to live my life – the way it NEEDS to be lived – based on WHO lives here and what they really need, and face up to the fact that I AM good enough… I challenge YOU to do the same. Ignore the world who says you are never enough and just get good at being you – and doing the things that matter with gusto.
What do you say? Wanna try it?