I looked down into the watering eyes of my redheaded boy and melted. “This is what I wanted to get you, but I cant.” I immediately ceased my mom-talk in my head, and melted. For a know-it-all, I sure don’t know much.
My parents had taken the kids for two overnights and days, making a mini spring break getaway for our kids. They’d had their fun, and now it was time to make their way back home. We met half way at a CrackerBarrel that was off the highway and sat down to dinner together. I hadn’t been inside this place in years – and memories of sitting with my parents flooded back to me. Biscuits smothered in dripping honey, chicken and dumplings, and perfect sweet tea. Mouth watering heaven.
Grandpa threw a couple bucks at each kid and they ran off to the wonderful gift store packed to the gills (and walkways) with treasures to find. They went off in search of stick candy and flavored old fashioned wax treats.
On the way in, my son had found a little dog that looked like Doogie (our dog) and I knew he’d be wanting it. He blew off the candy and pouted, as he often tries, in order for someone to feel sorry for him so he could get his way. I wasn’t caving in today. It’d been a heck of a day and caving in was not on my list of things I was gonna do today. It’s a long story, but today was not a day to push me.
To make it worse – I’d had a mini moment on the way up to meet them all. I was frustrated at the place I am in – waiting – for something to work in my health world so that I could make some headway. I was tired of being tired. I was irritated with being a soccer mom who couldn’t drive the soccer mom van. I would happily be a “stay-at-home-mom” but the key ingredient in being that mom is DRIVING the kids everywhere, going to the store, the errands, school, PTA, and on and on. The medicine I am on means I cant drive. I tried this week and GOD took me there and home. I wont do it again.
For icing on the cake – I spent 2 hours on hold and talking to people who really dont care that our entire tax return was stolen due to fraudulent hacking. Thousands of dollars are gone and when we asked the time frame for getting it back – we were told there WAS no time frame. Watch for papers to fill out. Again.
To put it mildly, I needed an angel of Hope to come down and lift me up. I was not feeling overly happy or hopeful today. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and lay there.
So when my son put his hand in mine and begged me to come see the thing he wanted to get, but couldn’t, I finally agreed – but with the understanding I wouldn’t be changing my mind. I was sure I knew where he was headed. But I was wrong. I walked behind him, still holding his hand as he can to stop in front of a collection of angels. My heart dropped to my feet. He handed me one very gently, very quietly, as if it were made of glass.
The little angel was holding up a single candle, protecting it’s tiny flame, and as I stood there looking at it, mine flickered in my heart. I tipped it upside down to find the name. “Angel of Hope,” it read. “This is what you wanted to get?” I asked him gently. Tears spilled down over his freckles and he nodded yes. My tears began to flow and I just looked down into the eyes of my precious boy and cried. I knelt down and he immediately wrapped me in a bear hug around the neck and sat on my knee. We cried together and I remembered that this journey of mine was affecting us all — more deeply than I knew. We all needed a bit of hope.
But $30 was a lot of money right now… technically for something we didn’t need… and so I told him we would save up, “together”, for it. Maybe for Mother’s day? His smile lit from behind his tears a bit and he nodded.
Just when you think things are just the way they’re gonna be- something comes along and shakes it up. Nothing is set until God has had His way and say. There is always hope. Angels are always just out of sight, and they are seen by the little ones in moments we miss.So buddy – thanks for the gift, even if I dont have it sitting on my shelf yet. It already means the world to me. I am so amazed by you every single day. Love, Mom