Hell bent on womanhood…


I stole my child today. Don’t judge me. I don’t get many “good days” with my interesting health situation, (to put it nicely) and today was one of them… I wasn’t gonna waste a second of it.

Lindsey had an eye appointment back to back with mine today. She got contacts for her 13th Birthday. UGH – a teenager already! (When did I get old enough to have a teenager?) Wait – don’t answer that.  I was going to take her back to school after our appointments.  Really… That was the plan.  I promise.

But when I woke up today, unlike 8 out of 10 days, I didn’t struggle to make myself move. My head actually didn’t pound out of my skull this morning. It was a amazingly good day. I was afraid to let it slip away with mundane errands and laundry.

I’ve been driven by the pain in my head, a slave to the medicine routines lately…but not today…  By golly, the only good day I had this week wasn’t gonna pass me by.

I caught this moment and held on with a ferocious grip. Yes, I should have taken my kid back to school, but I was selfish. I am not the least bit sorry either. My plans were solidly set in stone still until we climbed in the van and were on our way. I was wavering, but thinking with my parenting “aught and should” brain till I glanced over at my teenage daughter.  I took in her knock off Ugg boots vs. the light up butterfly shoes she had a few years back, the trendy green plaid puffy coat with fur hood vs. the glitter pink down coat with matching pink gloves and stocking cap. There were no pigtails sticking out of her head. Instead there was carefully flat ironed red hair to go with painstakingly applied blush, mascara, and lipgloss.  She grinned at me, peeking sideways and noticing I was taking her in.

“7 years,” she randomly she stated, then grinned bigger.

What?  What was I missing here?

“Thats when my birthday will make me 20,” (the age I fell in love with her Daddy). It was a punch to the gut. 7 years. Not seven years till she is out of the house,  not off to college, not even driving.  No, all of these come SOONER!  No… it’s just 7 short years till she could find a boy and fall in love… and be moving on towards her OWN family.

Where did time go? What vicious monster stole my time with this little girl and grew her up into a teenage, drop dead beautiful, mature, and courageous daughter?

So yeah, I stole her today. And I am proud of it.  She thinks I was just a super nice mom, getting her a $1 hot chocolate at Starbucks, shopping with her birthday money, and helping me find new jeans that were hip (and worthy to wear onto the school premises) with Christmas money from my mom INSTEAD of going back to school. I should be quiet about it, but what if the Time-Monster comes to visit you? Maybe you’ll need a heads up…

Listen, judge if you want, but here’s a secret. I learned to steal time from the Time-Monster from my own dear mother. I thank God for that every time I remember to treasure my kids like today. Yep, that’s right.  I still remember a day at Bob Evans, age 10 (and more years ago than i will confess to) where we snuck away, just mom and me, and I got to eat off the adult menu for the first time… I’d hit double digits after all.  The waitress saw a child but my mom saw the future blazingly bright before her.  I looked like a child but I was hell bent on womanhood. I was chaffing at the bit.

Lindsey’s now bubbling with Christmas cheer and energy, flitting around the house and singing annoyingly off key (intentional) and I sit here bawling in gratefulness for today. Somewhat sappy I know, but you know how that is right? You are so happy you cry and cant stop? Yeah. I’m a mess and I am just so blessed I am soggy. I want to remember this moment for a long time to come… even how soggy I am in my gratitude for stealing a moment away from that danged Time-Monster.

So, Mom… I Love you – beyond words… This from the woman who’s now a mom of a girl hell bent on becoming a woman, herself. Thank you for teaching me to live in the moment. Thanks for treasuring me and my brother. Thanks for helping me see each and every blessing from above, often hidden in daily life. You are the best example I could follow. You and Dad did good. 😀

I want to say to my daughter,  STOP IT!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW – Stop growing up so fast.  Stay 13 for a while and stop wishing yourself forward 7 more years. It will come, baby girl. But don’t let the TIME MONSTER steal any minutes away from us. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I’m just as sappy about your sis and bro too. Don’t worry, I promise to steal them away someday too 🙂

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