I was flipping through my notebook I keep in my purse. I write a bit compulsively, and I keep notebooks full of quotes, sayings my kid’s have said, random thoughts that flip through my mind as I travel through life, inspirations that come via sermons at church, and at odd times waiting in lines, parking lots, and other things too numerous to bother to bore you with.
I found a note I made while in church one Sunday and it really seemed to hit me hard today. It was “memorable” when it was said, but it was meant for me to read today. It was almost as if God wrote it there for me for a time such as this…
It was a question, “Are you a glow stick christian?” I liked the sound of it, thought it was catchy, and thought – sure – i was a bit glow-ish. I’ll write that down. But then my life got a bit messy. It got a bit tough. In fact, it threw me for a loop. Nothing so life altering that the whole world was askew, but it really got my attention, and fast.
The quote went on to ask… “When life snaps, do you glow brighter and more intensely when shook up? We cant afford to break and fizzle out.”
Wow. That was a tough hit to the gut for me. Was I glowing as brightly as I could be? Or did I fizzle at all? I know my light was flickering when the Chiari diagnosis was first issued. I got scared. That’s to be expected… but longterm… was I gonna shine bright for Him, and honor Him in all I reflected back… or was I gonna flicker and fizzle?
I’d like to say yes, burn bright and true… steady as the sun. It’s what I am going to keep my eyes trained on, and my heart focused on, with the goal each day being to let this shook-up-life LIGHT up the night. Only God can take a pile of crappy mess and turn it into something beautiful.
I realized that there are so many times I am tempted to just pull in and hole up. I just want to sit this one out. I want to forget what’s happening. Take a pass. No thanks.
I think I will just sit this rocky climb out this time, if you don’t mind, God… I’ve had a lot lately in the last 2 years to deal with. I think I am good for the “growth” in my christian walk for now. But that is NOT what was being asked of me. I’m being asked to glow, period.
So God took me, broke me, shook up my life, then said GLOW baby, GLOW. Show them what it looks like to step out in faith, with grace, and see ME in all that you do. That sounds easy enough, but it requires keeping an upward focus nearly every waking moment. It’s impossible to do if you take your eyes off God even for a little while. It doesn’t mean every waking moment you are studying the Bible, listening to Christian music, and digging deeper. But it does mean your focus is not worldly. It is not about stuff and trivial things. You have to keep your head in the game and remember what it’s all about.
And it takes work. Lots and lots of work. But it’s worth it. It is so worth it.
So yeah, I am a whole lot broken and pretty shook up… but watch out, cause God’s got some kinda plan here and I’m gonna glow baby! He is working on revealing an amazing plan and it’s all about revealing His awesome Glory. I cant wait to see just how brightly it is gonna light up the night!