I used to have my act together. Quit laughing! Seriously, I once upon a time could get through a whole day, even whole weeks, without resorting to writing out To Do lists, calendar plans, and still managed to get all the things done in a week that were on my plate – and even extras. Now? If I dont write down exactly what needs done, when I think of it, I dont remember again until I fail to do the task and end up dropping said plate.
I’m a circus performer spinning all these plates stacked a mile high, always in danger of getting out of rhythem and all of them crashing to the ground. The LIST is the only thing balancing all those plates.
Because I live by way of lists (and lists of my lists), check marks on those lists are what determines if I have a successful run of the day or not in my twisted, messed up brain. It’s wrong to judge a day via this method. I entirely agree. But it’s how I’m wired. I am task driven. I actually hate that about myself. What I loathe (because it’s infuriatingly impossible for me) and admire in my very patient husband, is his ability to just exist in life and be very content with going with the flow. Never in my life have I simply gone with the flow. Each moment of the day “should be” productive and accomplishing something.
What results is me being a basket case by the end of the day if i have more left on my list than checked off. So today, well today I decided to ensure that I would have WAY more checkmarks on the list done than not done. When I awoke today after a wonderfully slow exit from my bed I added these said items to the day’s LIST:
(1) Get up – CHECK!
(2) Eat Breakfast – CHECK!
(3) Shower – CHECK!
(4) Check FaceBook – CHECK!
I know – I am SUCH an overachiever! Now the nap I will save till the day winds down a bit and I have a wonderfully full belly of hot soup and bread and can cozy up with a book and blanket and read till I drift off sleepy and happy. In the mean time, I will work on a few of the many items cluttering up my list. But I will feel very successful at the end of my day seeing those magnificent black CHECKs all down this list! Yes – I get how silly and ridiculous this is – but frankly, I dont much care. It makes me smile.
Okay – so here’s something I am working on in the mean time… Something that will make me a bit less ridiculous EVENTUALLY… A wise person said to me that the only true test of if you’ve accomplished something in a day is to make a list that goes like this…
(1) Do something for someone else
(2) Do something for yourself
(3) Do ONE thing on your list
(4) CHILL OUT!
Okay – so if I measured my days against THIS list, I would probably be successful everyday of the week… because I know I daily do something for someone else – would LOVE to do something for myself, and can always do ONE thing on the list, easily. It’s just that last one I have a hard time with.
I can promise you, however, I am willing to work a lot harder at number (4). So that’s my new goal in the coming week. To learn to just chill out a bit more. Until then, I will smile like a goof and cheer myself for accomplishing 4 things on my list before 9:30am. Way to go ME!