Okay – I admit it… I really stunk at starting this blog. Do you want a flowery and beautiful excuse, or the reality? Yeah, that’s what i figured.
I started the blog when our laptop crashed and I lost all the last 3 years worth of journaling/blogs I had on it. The place i uploaded to had a glitch and it wasn’t saved into space either. It was just gone. I got mad – sick – frustrated. I didn’t have it backed up in a secondary location. Is this a good reason to stop writing? No. Am I stubborn and ticked off and and stomping my feet like a 3 year old over it? Yep. So I just stopped writing for a while.
Then, to add to it… I got smacked with summer. Pure and simple. It happens to me every year and each June I swear it wont happen THIS year. I have grand plans and wonderful intentions. I am gonna be a fun mom, a creative mom, a take charge and get things done mom. Then the three energetic children are released from school and reality settles in.
The real me is creative and fun, bubbly and spunky. I am full of ideas and energy. I am a bit like a hot air balloon, hyper on helium and ready to fly. What ties my hot air balloon to a rock and keeps it from running off into the free blue skies is the monotony of oughts and should’s, the have to’s and the need’ta do’s. My list gets so long i run out of steam and time for the happy wants. When did i grow up so much? When did the draw of those blue skies loose so much of their appeal that I could actually choose the boring ToDo list over it?
I put too much on myself. The reality is I am not a stay at home mom. I am a work at home mom and a woman who owns her own business. I work. Period. When summer hits, and my wonderful husband cant watch the troops… well it falls to me. THEY are my main job, yes. Absolutely. But the bottom line needs dealt with. The groceries wont drive them selves over to my house all nicely paid for just because i would much rather go to the zoo and play at the park and have a picnic. I have to schedule my jobs and go do them. And the end result is that the kids go with me, in tow, to sit and wait for me to be done. I do lots of “don’t touch anything”, and “Don’t move from this room” directing at each job, and because they have been going with me for years now, they don’t bother to try to do anything else.
I clean for a living. I do what other people don’t have time for or simply cant do. I have been brought low, to the ground and under by well meaning people who ask if this is all i really want to do with my life – to be a cleaning lady. What they fail to see is that cleaning gives me the chance to capture SOME of my summer with the kids. I don’t play all summer – but i would not play even a smidgen of what i do now if i worked a traditional job in an office or store, or heck, anywhere that I was not my own boss. I have tried those jobs, believe me, and they simply never worked for us.
For me, cleaning is ministry. It is something i do to bless those i work for. I don’t go and do just enough, but always try to go above and beyond expectations. I want to live by the scripture: What ever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all for the Glory of God.” Excellence is the only option, because if I want God to be glorified by what I do, it has to be a standard that He shines through in. I am not just some cleaning lady… it is where God has put me for now to bless my family in multiple ways by providing and still being home most of the time, and by being a servant who provides a needed service to those he puts in my path as clients, and often, client turned friends.
So yeah, long story short… i had a ton of fantastic stories to tell, exciting things we did, saw, experienced. And NONE – yes – NONE of it is here for you to see.
But in a way, that is a good thing. It means i was out there catching what moments I could and not sitting here at the computer blogging about it. Your loss is my gain.
Hope you had a fantastic summer.